Film: Magic Mike XXL

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Title: Magic Mike XXL
Cast: Channing tatum, Matt Bomer, Joe Manganiello, Kevin Nash, Adam Rodriguez, Jada Pinkett Smith, Amber Heard
Seen on: 05 July 2015

Before you start reading this review, let me give you fair warning about the state of my mind: my brain is mostly drooling in the corner unable to fully process what it has seen, so don’t expect any high-brow, in-depth character studies from this end.

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That being said, I do have a few things of use to say before I let myself completely melt into a puddle of sexual frustration (TMI?):

  • Magic Mike XXL is deliciously feminist and pro-women (you don’t care what your woman wants? fuck you!)
  • As flimsy as the story is (there is even less of it than in the first one, if that’s possible), at least we don’t get any forced romance pushed onto us (the odd flirtation between Mike and Zoe doesn’t ruin anything) this time around
  • The banter between the guys doesn’t always work, feeling forced at some points, but it actually serves the plot (yes, it has some> plot!)
  • Donald Glover is a very nice surprise!
  • Matt Bomer can sing?! And if anyone thinks Channing Tatum isn’t the god of dance needs to get out of my face
  • Hell yes to the woman-worshipping high-end dance club run by a woman!
  • Really, it is just a buddies road trip movie with a lot of added male stripping

Now, with the obligatory “proper” review points out of the way, on to the important bits: the stripping. See, this film knows exactly what it needs to be. It doesn’t pretend to be anything but a fun road trip movie with a lot of stripping and teasing and almost-nsfw dancing in between. There is a bit of story, but it never once wants to be more than just an entertaining film with an extremely (welcome!) liberal approach to sexuality.

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Magic Mike XXL has it all: cougars, male insecurity (with added bonus of a MDMA-high Big Dick overcoming this by seducing a very grumpy looking girl in a gas station to the song I Want It That Way by the Backstreet Boys – I will never be able to hear this song without flailing ever again…), a high-end strip club cum country club run by a successful woman, the difficulty of having an 11-inch penis and the comparison to it being like Cinderella’s glass slipper, drag queens, a Twilight inspired strip act (0_o), sexual abuse of power tools, and awkward inspirational speeches. What more could you possibly want?

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Ah yes, a grande finale that makes all the women in the room drop their panties and jaws in envy of the extras in the scene, which includes a sex swing, chocolate sauce, suspenders, and a LOT of face-grinding. Because holy hell, these guys can dance! All of them (except maybe Kevin Nash, can we retire him already please?) are the epitome of hot-damn-get-in-my-bed-and-ride-me-already sexy. If you enjoy looking at good-looking men, this is the film for you. Let me regale you with my immediate reaction that I WhatsApp-ed to my best friend:

Holy

Christ

Fucking

Hell

I want a sex swing too

Jesus

Fuck

Christ in hell

Also? Not good for my sexual frustration…

And Matt Bomer

JESUS

That last scene killed me

Dead

Fucking hell

Just bring a drool bucket and leave your brain at home.

Rating: 7/10

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